I am currently faced with a question, a conundrum if you will: “can a man survive on beer and beans alone?”

While I suspect I have manouvered my way to the end of this philosophical minefield I can’t help feeling an aching regret that it has come to the point where I must consider questions such as this. It’s not that my tastes have devolved to a point where they find this diet pleasing, neither is it that to improve my diet would take me beyond my means. What, therefore, is the reason for this outragous disregard for my health and digestive tract?

Like a dog with it’s nose pressed to the back of my knee the unpleasent realisation is slowly coming to my attention that I am already taking up the habits of my newfound peers. This is a worrying turn of events; if it continues I will surely end up sustaining myself on brackish pond water and the mildew from my bathroom tiles.

So what of the original question? The conclusion I have reached is thus:

You possibly can live on lager and beans alone, but when your room is no bigger that the average shoebox you will soon wish that you didn’t.

Well, this is it. here I sit, still possessing the aura of full-time employment, surrounded by the sickly, the weak and the unwashed. Thus is the fate that befalls those who strive to better themselves through education.

They are all around me, their harsh braying calls echoing around the room while the stench of fear and shame and poverty is all-pervading. Soon I will be overcome, I will be one of them, but for now I retain my sense of discipline. I will not go without a fight and while i have an ounce of strength I will not submit.

Some would say that I am a jaded, sadistic misanthrope; they may even be correct in that judgement. Know this: no curse nor slur will ever plumb the depths of moral depravity implicit in the title of student, and I will wear my badge of misanhropy with pride while it still holds the power to keep me pure from their taint.

Unemployment is not the life for me. Despite merely being a temporary self-imposed break in my slavery to the man, I am already finding it tiresome. I have to last but 5 more days and this hellish half-existence will be at an end yet still I gaze longingly at the traffic passing by my house in the morning, the knowledge festering inside me that I was once amongst it and yearning for the sweet embrace of bumper to bumper gridlock.

It’s almost done! I have it within my grasp! My slightly clammy grasp!

The album is nearing completion. The fabled beast, rumoured to exist as early as 2007, has now had a confirmed sighting. 13 tracks of mayhem and malice, wrapped in a blanket of alcohol and midget porn. I could weep with the joy of it all if my heart wasn’t a shriveled, blackened stone on a piece of string.

If you haven’t already abandoned these pages, assuming that they were as dead as my sense of self-worth, take hope from these words: we are still here, we haven’t forgotten you and very soon we are going to ROCK YOUR WORLD.

Through the wonders of t’interweb you have the capability to leave comments on any of these posts. The first 3 people to comment on this post will receive proof of our deeds in the form of an mp3 of an unreleased track.

…that I made the ball come off my nose ring by rocking out so hard for our gig last night. Thanks to Kev + all at the Appleby last night for looking after us despite us making a horrible racket for 45 minutes.

In other news, I fully recommend pimms + lemonade in a can - it lends a sense of class to any tourbus situation.

Such was the noise when I fell off the wagon this weekend….. my christ did I hurt on sunday… why, oh why do they make mead so yummy?!?!?!

It seems that we all have an overwhelming desire to destroy. Whether through hatred, greed or merely on a whim, the natural direction for all things is downwards. Spiraling towards rock-bottom, it’s too late for realisation to dawn. The time to change it all is an ever-shrinking window somewhere before inevitability starts to take hold, when there is still enough flexibility to permit change.

This phenomenon occours on many scales, from political power mongering to neighbourhood grudges. Not all of it is turned outwards - indeed many people turn their destructive natures on themselves, content to pick an easy target for their daily loathing.

This will be our demise.

Walking home at 2am in the snow does not a happy bunny make. Feeling vaguely inhuman right now and someone seems to have carpeted my tongue…

Alcohol makes a mockery of the mind.

[Boozy]core represent!

….and your 2-4-1 cocktails!

I woke up this morning without a sense of identity or the ability to grasp why my mouth tastes like pain!

Fucking good night tho but why oh why did I go to an 80’s bar?!?!

Nothing’s been posted in a while… So I’ll use this opportunity to recommend the Doomsday engine. If you want to play doom/doom 2 with proper 3d models it’ll rock your socks. be sure to get all of the addons.

Hopefully we’ll have more gigs to announce soon. Watch this space.